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Soliloquizing like you would not believe
4:14 am
New year, new post, same old? Maybe not. 
1st-Jan-2012 08:41 pm
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I can't remember if I had any resolutions from last New Year's, but whatever. My priorities now are very different from what they were a year ago.

I am unhappy. I don't like the way my life is going. I don't like the way me is going. It took being physically unwell for me to finally become honest enough with myself to realize it, but whatever. I've finally figured it out, as well as I can. I'm not making New Year's resolutions, because that's fairly arbitrary. Instead, I'll go with the date of my meltdown, December 5th, because that's when I made my resolution decision.

I am going to fix this.


2011 was a fucked up, miserable year (made even more fucked up by the fact that I didn't even notice), and I hope that 2012 will be better, but I'm going to try to avoid the trap of thinking that a new year means a fresh start.

I make my own fresh start. It's not the year that needs to change, just me.
(though it looks like that won't get going until summer, so fml)

Happy fucking new year.
Comments 
2nd-Jan-2012 04:41 pm (UTC)
U CAN DO EEEEEET!!!!
2nd-Jan-2012 08:44 pm (UTC)
Yay! I also want to have a better 2012. Shall we be accountability sisters and check in with each other about our progress? or not, if you don't want to.
3rd-Jan-2012 05:40 am (UTC)
I'm not sure how I would have quantifiable progress for 'stop being a fuck-up.' We can do monthly progress reports, though!
'How's the knitting going?'
'It's OK. How's trying to get your shit together going?'
'I don't even know what together shit would look like.'
6th-Jan-2012 06:39 pm (UTC)
That is a really good point. So one thing you might want to do is start defining what "not being a fuckup" would look like. It's hard to move towards something when you don't know what that thing is, you know?
6th-Jan-2012 06:40 pm (UTC)
Also, I have non-knitting goals, I'm just still debating if I want to put them on LJ or not.
12th-Jan-2012 12:43 am (UTC)
What? You do things that don't involve yarn? I am shocked, shocked.
12th-Jan-2012 01:36 am (UTC)
bite me
2nd-Jan-2012 10:54 pm (UTC)
Also, similarly, it took a significant health crisis to make me realize that I wasn't particularly happy. :P
3rd-Jan-2012 05:47 am (UTC)
I think your health crisis beat my health crisis. :P
6th-Jan-2012 06:38 pm (UTC)
Mine was pretty spectacular!
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