dementedelement (dementedelement) wrote,

New year, new post, same old? Maybe not.

I can't remember if I had any resolutions from last New Year's, but whatever. My priorities now are very different from what they were a year ago.

I am unhappy. I don't like the way my life is going. I don't like the way me is going. It took being physically unwell for me to finally become honest enough with myself to realize it, but whatever. I've finally figured it out, as well as I can. I'm not making New Year's resolutions, because that's fairly arbitrary. Instead, I'll go with the date of my meltdown, December 5th, because that's when I made my resolution decision.

I am going to fix this.

2011 was a fucked up, miserable year (made even more fucked up by the fact that I didn't even notice), and I hope that 2012 will be better, but I'm going to try to avoid the trap of thinking that a new year means a fresh start.

I make my own fresh start. It's not the year that needs to change, just me.
(though it looks like that won't get going until summer, so fml)

Happy fucking new year.
Tags: feelings
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