"They can die heroically, comically, ironically, slowly, suddenly, disgustingly, charmingly, or from a great height."
"That was a proof by contradiction and arm-waving."
"The Revelation: Ninety percent of everything is crud."
"Okay, a friend would stitch you up, a good friend wouldn't report it, and your best friend would let you bleed out on the floor and get laid at the wake."
"When in doubt, cut up a pig."
"Nobody throws away porn; it's like an heirloom, passed on down the family tree."
“‘Optimist’ spelled backwards is ‘moron’.”
"My blood tastes extra tangy today."
"All right, okay. What do I do with my feet?"
"Just kick. Kick as though you were interviewing a suspect."
"It was an otter. I was ten. It was dead. Someone hit me with it. Can we move on?"
"I repeat myself when under stress. I repeat myself when under stress."
I went for a bike ride when there was a break in the rain today! It was nice, but my main concern around here is riding without getting run over by a car. There's not a lot of bike-friendly places within a couple miles (or in the city period).
Mostly I ride through neighborhoods, so I don't have to worry quite
as much about people driving like maniacs. I would go through Green Acres but I know for sure that I would get terribly lost in there, and the closest road has been closed off for construction so I'd have to go miles out my way to get in.