I am freaking out so badly. I wish I could feel anxious without getting physically ill, but no dice. The constant pacing has been driving me a bit mad too, but I put on a pedometer earlier and I've paced about a mile so far. So I guess I can feel good about that?
I thought maybe I could be productive today to keep my mind off of tomorrow, but that is really, really not going to happen. Things to do just made me freak out more.
Therapy! It is in my immediate future. Definitely.
So, I'm going to ignore all those lists of things that I need to do (I can do them perfectly well tomorrow afternoon or not at all, thank you very much), put some laundry in the washer, kick back with a cup of tea and put Star Trek on the teevee. Decaf, definitely decaf.
Here are some books that I am going to read this year!
- Frankenstein - Mary Shelley: I had an abridged version when I was a kid. I think it was only one hundred pages long, if that. Mom tells me the whole thing is boring, but I think I'll be able to deal. This one has some biographical information in it too; I think Mary Shelley is fascinating. Probably I would enjoy a good biography of her more.
- Villette - Charlotte Bronte: I hated Wuthering Heights so much! And then I read The Tenant of Wildfell Hall and it was much better because there was a great deal less horribleness. And then I read Shirley and rather liked it because it was mostly not horrible and dealt with bigger issues than the problems of one small group of people. Then I read Jane Eyre and I'm pretty sure that I actually enjoyed it. But I can't really tell if I like Charlotte's writing because it's actually enjoyable, or if I just liked it because it wasn't written by Emily. So I'll keep reading Charlotte's stuff and eventually I'll think back and maybe be able to tell if I liked it for itself.
- Sophie's World - Jostein Gaarder: I've tried to read this in the past, but it is just so slooooow. I will persevere!
- King Arthur and His Knights: Selected Tales - Thomas Mallory
- The Romanovs: The Final Chapter - Robert K. Massie: Katherine gave me this book quite a while ago, but it was in a box under a pile of old mail and I only just found it. Well, I do like Russians and gloomy, gory things.
- One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn: I will definitely read some Russian literature! And if I'm going to do that, I might as well start out with the shortest one that I can find.
Another thing that I enjoy, besides making lists, is organizing things in interesting ways. And making databases. And stuff! Recently I discovered LibraryThing
which lets you catalog your books online! Only the first 250 are free, though. But still, it's fun! And you can find the exact edition of your book and create a display of the covers and tag things and organize them into collection and find other people who have the same books that you have and aaaaaaaaaa
Anyway, I think it's pretty great.
You can go through the books that are most commonly tagged as "unread
," so, essentially they're books that people buy because they feel that they should read them or that they will make their shelves look more well-read, but don't actually read. You can also go through books tagged as "read," which includes, in the top eight, every single Harry Potter book and the Hobbit, closely followed by The Da Vinci Code and every single standard high school book ever. Would anyone actually read 1984 if they didn't have to?